Errata №948

Corrections to a map that lied.

Sheet withdrawn. Do not fold along the causeway. Surveyor unavailable — surveyor is still not here.

  1. The contour marked 40 m is 41 m. It lied by one metre and kept the change.
  2. North, as printed, is where the button went. Press the button to restore North. There is no button.
  3. For "footbridge" read "thermoplastic causeway". It is painted, not built. Do not stand on the paint.
  4. The weir shown at grid 9-4-8 is unfound. We heard it. We did not locate it. It is somewhere downhill of the lie.
  5. Delete the word chinks from the legend. It was light getting in. That is not a legend feature.
  6. Every distance is short by the change. Walk further than told. Trust your feet, distrust the ink.
  7. The tollhouse charged 2 948 bucks. We have not been reimbursed. Neither have you. Nobody has the bucks.
  8. Two deliverys were made to a house that the map insists is a pond. The parcels are wet, but received.
  9. The word "deliverys" is misspelled on this correction. We are aware. The correction to the correction is pending, forever, in a drawer, by the weir we could not find.
  10. The footpath drawn as a dotted line is a rumour. Dots are hope, not right-of-way.
  11. The elevation profile is fine until you look at it a second time.
  12. There is no thing where the ✕ is. The ✕ is where we stopped believing the sheet.
  13. YOU ARE HERE ←
  14. Correction to №13: you are not here. You are still not here. The contour was standing in for you and it lied.
  15. Fold the map. It will not fold to its own outline. Keep the leftover. That leftover is the change the contour kept.
SURVEY NOTE 948·f30847 — This sheet supersedes all sheets, including itself. Reissued because the last one lied by one metre and kept the change. Coin came up heads, which on this map means north is where the button went. Return to the office by the causeway. The causeway is paint. Good luck.
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